So last night I’m thinking about this website and about my coaching business. I’m thinking things are shaping up great! And then it hits me in the pit of my stomach: Fear.
Does that happen to you too? Just when things are going well, or even hinting that they might go well, panic hits. 😨
Honestly I just wanted the feeling to stop. When I want feelings to stop, my mind goes any of three places: Check Facebook! ⏳ See what’s on sale at Boden! 💸 (or) Look for chocolate! 🍫
Those are my go to’s for numbing. For feeling nothing. We can say we have no addictions because we don’t drink or do drugs, but we all have our ways of checking out of life, don’t we? Before we know it, decades have gone by and we aren’t any closer to our goals.
I know I have already lost too much time avoiding fear, and avoiding the vulnerability of putting my work out into the world. I’m ready to move past it, are you? Yes! 👊
So how exactly do we move past the desire to numb and hide from fear? Here are four things I’ve found that help.
#1 Focus in on the Present:
When our minds start running away with all the possibilities of what could happen, our little critter brains get activated. 🐿️ Even if we are imagining something great and big and amazing, our brains can still feel it as “NOT SAFE!”
Focusing on what we are grateful for right now can rein us back in. You simply cannot feel anxious when you are fully immersed in the present. If your thoughts are swirling and you can’t seem to get a grip on them, take a piece of paper and list everything you are grateful for. In fact, why not have a journal just for gratitude? Sometimes writing is just what we need to get out of our heads. 😉
#2 Envision Yourself Being Successful:
Our subconscious mind resists change simply because it is designed to protect us. If you’re planning on doing something you’ve never done before, that critter brain will fight you tooth and nail.
Imagine this: You come up with a plan to write a book. Next, the mind searches through your memory files trying to find a picture of you writing a book. When it can’t find any memories of you or someone close to you becoming a published author, the mind says “Nope, nothing that matches. Don’t do it!”
Worse yet, the mind pulls memories of people criticizing your writing as a child, and you think “What was I thinking? I’m nobody to write a book.” Ridiculous! Of course you are somebody to write a book, or you wouldn’t be dreaming of doing it. This is where giving our minds new pictures to pull from can help.
Envision yourself doing that thing you want to do. This is most likely going to bring up a lot of nerves. If it’s too scary to picture the end result, that’s okay. Just picture yourself being the person who does the daily action needed to get there. If that thing really is writing a book, envision yourself being someone who gets up early every morning to write. If it’s being healthier, envision yourself making great choices at the grocery store and going for walks.
Setting up affirmations to go with your new mental movies is a great idea. Read more about how to get the most out of affirmations here.
#3 Reframe the feeling:
So we now know that these feelings of fear don’t really indicate imminent danger. (Even though it sure can feel like it!) 😱 Do we get so used to being numb that any big feeling is uncomfortable? Maybe we have to get used to just feeling again. Instead of sensing those butterflies as fear, could we try leaning in and experiencing them as excitement?
I know this can feel really hard to do. Essential oils have been a valuable tool for me in learning to lean into the feelings instead of numbing. Instead of being another unhealthy coping mechanism, I find they really help my body and mind come back to a place of relaxation and balance. (I wrote more about how this works in this series.)
Here are my favorite blends for combatting FEAR (false evidence appearing real):
The Aroma Freedom Technique has also been very helpful in getting past my own mental blocks. (And I didn’t have little blocks, I had entire brick walls.) 😆 If you’d like to try Aroma Freedom Technique, just enter your email under “subscribe” and I’ll send you a link to my next free online class.
#4 Get into Action:
One sure fire way to get past fear is to just begin. What is the smallest step you can take towards your goal? Don’t go crazy and do everything at once or your subconscious will sabotage you faster than you can say Häagen-Dazs. Pick a tiny habit that will get you closer to your goal, and work on that this week.
Yes, it is going to feel scary at first, but you are going to grow so much in the process!
So what are you so excited about that you have butterflies in your tummy? Share in the comments so we can celebrate with you! 🦋🙌🎉