This post was originally written to help with those pesky resolutions so many of us struggle with from January 1st through about February 15th. But of course, change doesn’t have to wait for the earth to turn. Pin or bookmark this one for anytime you are ready to spark something new in your world! Now is a good time. 😉 -Jennifer
Did you know 80% of New Year’s Resolutions are tossed aside by February? Pretty dismal, huh? 😬 But don’t despair! No matter how many times you’ve fallen off the ol’ wagon, you really ARE capable of success!
Still, we have to wonder where so many of us are getting off track? And more importantly, how can we make sure this time is different?
So, here are five ways to do it right this time. 🥳 These are all things I’ve learned and tested out over 15 years of studying personal development. Read on or Pin for later, and then let me know what you think!
#1 Get a Big, Fat Why
While many of us are focusing on wanting less of what I like to call “stored energy” 😆, there is one thing we all need to fatten up… our WHY! Why are we even doing this thing we have resolved to do? 🤔
Sometimes we say we want to accomplish something, say getting fit or getting organized, just because we feel it’s what society expects of us. Like “Agh, all my friends are decluttering and going minimalist! I need to get with the program or I’m going to be the only slob left!” 😫
Well, social pressure can be a motivating factor, but for most of us it won’t light a big enough fire to create lasting change. After all, our besties still love us even though we’re messy, right? 😜
If you’re really going to stick with a goal, even when the going gets tough, you have to have a BIG reason why you’re doing it.
So what is your Why? Not sure? Ask yourself some questions…
How will accomplishing this thing change your life? What will it do for your loved one’s lives? How will it affect your relationships? Will it change your legacy?
Write these things down and dig it all up until you’ve got a Big Fat Why that makes you all misty eyed and verklempt. 😭💗 That’ll do it.
#2 Go Small or Go Home
If you’re anything like me, once you’ve resolved to accomplish something, you’re excited. And it’s like, “I’m gonna do this, and that, and this… and totally overhaul my life and it’s gonna be amazing!!!” 🤩 And then 3 weeks later you’ve hit a wall of exhaustion and can hardly pick yourself off the couch. Sound familiar?
None of us want to make slow progress, right? It seems counter intuitive to purposefully be the tortoise. We think we’ve got the stamina and smarts to pull off hare status. Until we don’t. 🐰😪
Burnout is real, y’all. And self sabotage plays a factor when we attempt to change everything at once. Our brains will rebel if we suddenly try to live a life that feels completely foreign. The solution? Go small.
Whatever your goal, pick the most itty bitty, bite sized action step to work on first. For example, if you want to get in shape, you might just work on the habit of laying out your work out clothes before bed. Yes, really, just that. 😉 You see, even though it seems ridiculous, by preparing to work out you are creating new thought patterns! You’re laying a foundation for the lifestyle you want to embrace.
Even though a tiny habit may feel insignificant, be patient. The point is to master the first action step, and then build on with another small step in the right direction.
And believe me, I hate this one just as much as you do. I don’t want to be patient and go slow! I want it all to change now!!!😭 But we have to remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Little hinges swing big doors. All those small changes will add up over time to equal big results. 🐢
#3 Work from the Inside Out
Often when we set a goal or a resolution, we’re focused on the outside result. Like, “I’m going to look so much better when I’ve lost 20lbs!” Or “I can’t wait to make more money in my business!”
Sounds reasonable, right? Except that focusing on the outside result doesn’t change anything inside. And all of our outside results come from who we are being inside!
Does that make sense? Maybe, maybe not. 😆 The bottom line is we have to change our inside world before we can get the results we want on the outside.
For example, if you want to be a healthier person, don’t focus too much on the outside results of being healthier (like losing weight). Focus on acting like a healthy person.
What would a healthy person do? Would they sit on the couch and watch TV or do some exercise? What would a healthy person order at this restaurant? Constantly tell yourself, “I am a healthy person, so this is what I do.” Even if it doesn’t feel true at first, eventually it will be! With every decision, you are becoming that healthier, wealthier, more successful version of yourself.
It’s simple, really. Just start by acting like the kind of person who has the results you want! The actual results will come in time, and better yet, they’ll stick!
#4 Play to Your Values
We all have our core values, the things that are most important to us. We build our lives around protecting these values. So, if your goals don’t align with your core values, you’ll be very conflicted in trying to reach them!
You may be wondering, “How could my goals not align with my values?!” Well, say you want to get healthier, but one of your core values is spending time with family. And your way of doing that usually involves fast food, ice cream, and sedentary activities. Plus you feel really guilty taking time away from your family to work out. 😳
Sure, you could try sending your husband and kids to McDonald’s while you go to spin class 😆, but eventually your values are going to trump your desire to be healthy. To be successful long term, you’ll have to find new ways to spend time with your family, and perhaps find ways to work out together. You can also align your goals with your values by reminding yourself that getting healthier will enable your family to spend more quality time together in the future.
Whatever your goal is, think about how reaching it will serve your values. Aligning yourself this way really sets you up for success!
#5 Make it Fun
Often we look at resolutions as a kind of punishment for having too much fun. 😳 Like, “Ugh, I’ve been bad and now I have to be good! What a drag! Hurry, let’s have some more fun before January 1st!” 🍻😂
Well, what if creating the life you want could be fun?!? What if reaching all your goals and living in alignment with your highest potential was a pretty awesome way to do things? 🤔
Open yourself up to the possibility that you are going to get what you want and have fun doing it. It’s going to be an amazing year! 🎉
Which way to do resolutions right resonates with you most? Let me know in the comments!
Read Next: 4 Ways to Live More Intentionally
#2 – yes to the micro goal! I’m a fan of BJ Fogg who says that micro goals don’t intimidate the brain and cause the typical freak-out session and second-guessing and resistance. 🙂
Yes!!! Totally been there with the freak-out and second guessing and do not want to go there again, lol! I’ll have to look up BJ Fogg. 🙂